it wasn't lemon gatorade
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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