I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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