Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
