he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Text me some of your sweat
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
