Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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