Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
