it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize