this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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