kristin has been a bad kristin
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
