is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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