im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
