How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
