Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
