my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
