Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
