How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
