You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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