One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
well most of my day revolves around power hour
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
i think im in europe. pls send help
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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