I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
