And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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