No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
