um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
