Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
