Christians are straight up FREAKS
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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