Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
