my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
