I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
