Say something about gay babies.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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