party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
How's work?
Spinning.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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