but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
