I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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