I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
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