1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
