So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
