Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
