We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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