girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize