Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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