at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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