She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We need a shit load of segways right now
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
