Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
The air was thick with penises
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
