i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
you had me at cake vodka
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
