So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
