good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
We need to rekindle our bromance
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize