I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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