Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
