I don't think brook has ever known best
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
