so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
