If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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