OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
