i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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