Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My liver just broke up with me...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
