yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Why can't burritos get me drunk
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
