ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize