Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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