You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
