Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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