i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
