I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
