i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
