Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Pants are for mortals
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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