Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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