Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
