we're blogging at a bar
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
