You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
