So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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