Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize