whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
