I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize