So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Randomize
