there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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